Apology for the late… if u still interested to follow my blog… visit here next time…
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Time flies… it has been a while since I last wrote blog. Remember the last time I was talking about how I made myself into the LitleGras concert, my drumming life. Now it is coming again. This time as a senior player who sometimes may need to guide my juniors when it comes to playing song since they are still new and learning, just like how I used to be…
I always feel that I’m not exactly a musician, though I’ve been playing drums for approximately 18 months which started performing on stage after the third month. All the instrumentalists in the band usually like the way of being called as musicians, most of the time they do feel that, at least subconsciously, I think. Although I would like to be called so… but I was never feeling so. I never feel that I’m a musician. I always think that I’m still a junior trying to fit in. The reason I said so is because I never feel I was treated like one.
So here comes the thinking. I asked myself, are you good enough yet? At least good enough to be called a musician? And then I realized how good are you is going to be determined by the people around you, which simply means that other musicians have to decide whether I’m good enough yet. And then I got my answer. My answer is NO.
Although this is not under any of my priorities when I first started off playing, but I have been trying so hard all this while just trying to fit in, trying to be recognized, trying to be a musician where his playing on his instrument is worth appreciated. Drumming has been part of my everyday life since I started playing here at university. I boldly say that I spent at least 2 hours a day, on average in doing something related to drumming. I played around the kit for hours, even during study week, came back to school even before the holiday ends just to put myself behind the drum set. I visited numerous drumming websites, downloaded bunch of drum lesson video clips and songs. I bought myself a practice pad, I got 3 pairs of drumsticks and I got a metronome. That is not all. I got a drumming book, I wrote notes about drumming. And I got a bag just to put my drumming stuffs and a special folder in my computer just to put all the drum related stuffs. And I also teach, teach beginners slash juniors in my campus which amounted to 20 students. Guess how I make time for that? Where are the other drummers who promised to help? Why I’m the only one ended up teaching every one of them even there is no body there to lend me a helping hand? My bottom line is, who is more passionate about drumming than I am?
But I am yet to feel that I am appreciated! I’m not chasing for any special glory for playing drums. I just wanted to feel like I am part of the team. I just wanted to feel that my opinions worth something. I just wanted to play the way I would like to play, which most of the time you all think is too much, or not suitable, I don’t know. I do accept opinions and I believe sometimes you all are right, my playing not so suitable for a particular types of song. But it can’t be that I’m wrong all the time right? Wrong because I want to try out something new, being creative? Isn’t this is what playing music is all about? Being creative and pull out something that is original from you and create something which has never been heard before? Even till today I still making mistakes along the playing, like running off beat during fill ins and missing the beat. That is because I dare to try something new, something difficult that I never try before. I’m not into conservative and stay making no mistakes at all, which could only be done by playing the same old beats and fill ins over and over again. I bet you would never make mistakes on things that you have done thousands of times right? And I’m of no genius who can play everything he wants to play just by thinking in their heads. Hey I am trying to be creative here, not to so that I could brag on how good I am, but to learn. I’m feeling confident that I can be just like Cobus Potgieter given me 6 years time, which is also the time he took to become a professional drummer who posted videos on youtube and have thousands of people cheering on his style of playing. If not 6 years 10 years would suffice. I’m a slow learner but I believe I can. Because in order to achieve so, it is not only talent that we are talking about but eternal hard work and determination, and not forgetting the most important of all, passion.
Maybe… I’m a lousy drummer who only him other than everybody else in the world, thinks that he is good enough. Maybe… I’m really not good enough. Maybe… drumming is the only skills I have, which is apparently not good enough comparing to other musicians capable of playing various instruments. Maybe… technically speaking I’m still a junior since I only have 18 months of exposure to music, which unlike others who already started playing musical instruments when they are still young.
Maybe… and most probably… this is a just another blog showing a desperate person’s sour grapes. Please forgive him, because he really needs to balance his emotional instability by throwing off something that causes so many nuisances to him. He is very sorry both to himself and other people who is reading this right now. He is feeling sorry for himself because he knows for sure he is just another ordinary person trying to achieve extraordinary dreams. He is feeling sorry for other people who feel offended because of his childish emotional surge. Monday, Aug 18, 2008 1:55 pm EDT Why is a tie-breaker needed in gymnastics?My Response Pathetic Americans! You guys simply can’t accept the fact that Chinese are getting stronger as a whole. Sadly to say, and cruel enough you guys could utter words like Kexin is cheating. You all come and visit China and take a look at all those children in China. You simply choose a kid along the street and ask about his or her age. I bet you would be amazed. Children in Asian countries are way smaller in size and height even when they are already post pubescence. Not only in China, Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, Indonesia anywhere in south-east Asia you name it. Teenagers here with the age of 18 would look like 14 or 15 to you. I believe those Americans who have visited countries here will certainly agree on that. Even if Kexin is really as claimed by you pathetic Americans, which she’s not, could won your OLD American Nastia Liukin (18 years old). You all should, especially Nastia Liukin should, feel embarrassed she could not even outdo a so called “14 years old”. Big shame on you Americans. Most people talk about how to get rich. Some people say it is a total fool if you are one of those slaves for money. I just read a blog post of one of my friends, but i got a different thought in my mind. I think having great wealth is a measure of success. It may represents your are smart enough, it may represents you got something special inside of you, it may represents you are extraordinary and irreplaceable, or having some kind of abilities plus a little luck which make you so different compared to others. But success is not only measured by the amount of money you have. Perhaps there got other parameters for success like what you have contributes to the society, how many influence you got, how many gold medals one’s has ever won. It all counts. For me successful is just a matter of whether i have achieved what i wanted to achieve. If my goal happens to be becoming rich, and if i have achieved that, apparently it means i am successful. Just as simple as that. My goal of life is to be becoming someone who is professional, well-respected, admired and trusted to. In order to achieve that i have to know my goals clearly so that i can execute it promptly n properly. With the goals clearly in mind, short term goals and long term goals, i can evaluate myself from time to time. It helps to develop great passion for things that i do everyday like study, interpersonal skills, communication skills and etc. It may sounds general but for me they are the basics and key components of everything i wanted to achieve eventually. Leading a life with passion for things that you do everyday make you feel less stressful and simply, happier. It is a meaningful life since you will not feel you are wasting time doing things you do not want to do. It is great when you got something to hang on to. Everyday is a meaningful day, but, be in mind that in the process you may encounter failure. However, you must understand it is not the end of the story, so it is really unnecessary spending time feel disappointed. Instead, you should analyze the failure and keep improving until one day you achieve your first short term goal, second, third, and ultimately, long term goal. We live in this world hopefully, in average 70 to 80 years. There is no need to be sad for failing one short term goal you set for 1 year, and, with every small goals achieved, you will keep yourself motivated and happy. There are still 50 to 60 years if u are 20 years old. There are so many things one can achieve in life. Yes! Life is not about making hell lots of money, but, if it happens to drive you, motivates you, keep you passionate, then why not? One must know the reason why he or she lives in this world. Objective should be there. Otherwise one would laze around doing nothing for his or her life. Live everyday with purpose. Be it to be wanna get rich, wanna get a professional job, artist wannabe, or simply wanna stay close to Him, The God. Men should live their lives with purpose. True, concrete and meaningful purpose. Without purpose, everyday is a stressful and torturing day. Especially when you are doing something that does not interest you and you have to repeat it daily. How pathetic?! Although there are entertainment sources that may keep u less stressful, but, sadly to say, it won’t last, and i doubt you got enough resources to spend on that and keep u cheer up all your life. Seek your purpose of life and live life to the maximum. I think everyone should know how their lives supposed to be, at least seeking it if you are still clueless.
I’m happy without u… Plz dun look bac n think forward… Over is over… It is not going to be da same again… Plz dun force me… Preferably dun talk to me… Get out of my sight… Get out of my life… I dun need u… I need sincere people… Obviously… u r not one of them… I jz reached ipoh today… i will be here till 27th april… after have to go bac to usm for a month short course amalan kejuruteraan… so do ring me if u around ipoh tis few days… coz it would be damn bored if no one is reaching for me… i’m all free for jz about anything… 你伤心吧！ 因为， 所以， 然后， 到底， 以后， 你一定会找到， 我个人认为这世界上， 恋爱的过程当中… 勇敢地往前走吧！ 今天，大学里的朋友都很开心。因为各自都可以回家了。 但是，我却开心不起来。相反，我想留下。有点不想回去。 因为我回去的话，我必须面对一些我不想面对的事情。 但是我还是回来怡保了。毕竟还是得跟家人过年。 到家了，很高兴见到家人。 没多久，我的手机就响了。 没想到这样快就要面对了。 结果见了她。疑问也解决了。 我，难过。 但同时我也轻松下来了。 应该可以很快乐的过新年了吧。 祝大家新年快乐！ Like during my 1st year 2nd sem… i went photo shooting around campus at midnight again… this time i was not alone but wif my ex-roommate… LeanKheng… I’m not sure some of u still remember… at my blog post entitled " i will be home soon… " April 20, 2007… i talked bout my experience during dat night… but this time i no longer encountered Pak Guard like last time… i encountered TzeTeng n SiewSiew going out by bicycle together… but i dunoe where they go la… lolz… Some unexpected results produced… secured quite a number of great shots… at the end of the day… both Leankheng n myself were happy bout dat… so wanna share wif all of u… for those who is in this campus… i think our campus can be attractive someway somehow… be proud as a USM Engineering Campus student… these are da photos which i think is great… feel free to comment… :） Here is the link… |
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